Hello beautiful beings,
I’m laughing at writing my New Year’s blog…in mid-May, but isn’t time an illusion anyway. ;)
And as the world is a little upside down and back to front right now, it doesn’t feel like a year of doing things as we used to. It certainly isn’t business as usual.
The reason I haven’t written until now is because I was letting the dust settle and finding clarity in what’s important to me, what I want in life, what feels most pure and uplifting to me. And sometimes that takes time. To re-remember.
I have known for a long time that 2020 was going to be a game changer. That big things were coming. I didn’t know what exactly but I knew it was the end and the beginning. It was the closing of a chapter. I’m not sure I was quite prepared for the whole world to come to a standstill. For the psychological chaos and confusion of these times.
And suddenly I knew my place. To bring clarity and a rational voice in these times of uncertainty, fear and unpredictability. To remind people of the remedy for their agitation. In times like these where it’s hard to know what to believe, where we are being encouraged to be even more addicted to our phones, where our freedom to roam has been halted, it is time to go within and find our inner freedom. Our inner clarity.
In terms of lockdown I think I won the jackpot, by living in the middle of a forest. Giving me unlimited land to explore and to come home to myself and the land. In the simplicity of this I know more than ever that nature is the remedy for my restlessness. I can feel fearful for the future, uncomfortable at being made to face aspects of myself. But nature is always there to rely on. The predictability of knowing that however dark the winter, the spring in just around the corner and the pure joy of seeing it all blossom into life. The more I align my life to the changing of the seasons the more I remember that I am a natural being, it is my real state. And as I observe and witness the plants and animals’ subtleties and beauty it helps me to let go. When they surrender to their true nature and blossom when it is their time, there is no second guessing or worrying (that I can see). What if as human beings we surrendered to our natural state. How would we live, think and be? It feels like this is the real antidote for these chaotic times. Simplicity. Peace. Patience. Flowing. Grounding.
There’s almost an assumption that nature in boring but nothing could be further from the truth. The variety is mind-blowing when you really focus in. Power expressed in so many different ways. Worlds within world. Intricate patterns and fractals. The diversity of species across the globe.
Community and collaboration really felt like important factors when I tuned into what 2020 would be about. I have been struggling for many years trying to hone in on how to have uplifting community and connection while also retaining my personal freedom. I had reached out and visited various communities over the years. Some deeply inspiring, some stifling, some I felt rejected from. I had retreated and committed to solo travelling due to some difficulties of seeking connection but then feeling drained or made to feel unsafe at times. And undoubtedly, I loved being solo. Driving across the country with no plan, just me and the landscapes. Meeting new friends spontaneously along the way. Not needing to rely on anyone. Learning to trust myself
But I knew that I had come to the end of that pathway. A path I treasure so deeply in my heart, having the courage to go it alone and find myself along the way. On the many sacred landscapes I found, the ancient churches I sang in, the mountains I stood at the top of, the wild waters I jumped in.
But now it’s time to come back and share it. To inspire others that they can do anything they set their mind to. To invite others to join me on new adventures. To connect with this beautiful home of ours. To share our wisdom and joy with one another.
And then lockdown happened.
A really interesting turn of events, in a year where I was to focus on community, I was no longer allowed to roam the land and meet with people. However, I’ve observed a real revival of grassroots community and collaboration through these times. The little acts of kindness, the organisation of local areas to support vulnerable people. I’ve found it deeply touching to witness. It’s made me realise how disconnected we’ve all been. Lonely and searching for connection but too afraid to seek it or not finding the depth we are looking for. As a nurse, I’ve found that it has bonded us as a team and the atmosphere despite the difficult circumstances seems to be more harmonious and peaceful.
As I work in palliative care I’ve always been interested in what happens to people and their families psychologically when faced with mortality. That it is a catalyst to come back to what’s really important in life. One another, love, the little moments, acts of kindness. It’s like we are seeing that manifesting on a collective scale now. People are reviewing how they’ve been living and what really matters to them. We are being offered a new beginning right now which I feel links back to how we could really live, in harmony with what feels most uplifting to us. Nature, community, simplicity, freedom.
It may take time to grow but what seeds can we plant now, not only physically in the many garden projects people are nurturing with more time at home, but in our lives as well. What do we really want for the future. I know that I want home, I want travel, I want connection but I want it to be in harmony with the earth. I want to know I am making a difference and helping regenerate the planet rather than further damaging it. I want to see the beauty of the world without worrying the impact I’m having on it. I want connection that is uplifting and inspiring.
At the start of May, the festival I have been going to for 5 years, Into the wild festival, set in a stunning bluebell forest did their first online version. It is a community I have seen flourish over the years and I have changed and gone on such a journey through every year. I have met and become friends with so many incredible people, learned so much about myself and let go of so much. The collective grief of not being able to be back on the land physically was transformed into a touching hope, that the community will be in our hearts whatever the circumstances and we will find a way to connect, wherever we are in the world. Though we would rather shed the technology, the vibe and atmosphere connected us in all of our homes across the globe. I felt so deeply grateful and humbled to see this. It gave me the certainty that whatever happens we will find a way to share with one another, to uplift each other, to share joy. It really touched my heart.
It may be sometime until we are able to hold one another’s hands in circles, to hug friends we haven’t seen for some time or let loose and dance our socks off, surrounded by crowds of sweaty humans but there is a separate togetherness, a remembrance of how important human connection is, physical touch, love and kindness.
What can we take from these strange times to strip back from the complexities and create a life that encompasses all that we really hold dear in our hearts.
We are in the great turning of the ages that have been prophesised by many of the ancient tribes throughout history, of the collapsing of a society built on greed and disconnection, to be replaced by a society built on the wisdom of the tribes. Of respect for the earth and one another. A remembrance that we are guests here. Using technology in harmony with the earth.
It now feels like potent time to collaborate with others with the same collective vision. How can we build this together, what will it look like? How do we maintain our personal freedom but also feel part of a bigger harmonious system? It’s time to reach out. It’s time to share ideas. It’s time to provide and build the support networks that will allow us to manifest this vision. Something I’ve really realised this year is the pretentiousness of the false awakening spiritual teachings. An entitlement and a need to be the leader, to tell others how it should be.
I realised that all we can do is to lead ourselves, to focus on what lights us up, what our values are and follow them. If we attract our tribe in the process, those that have a similar philosophy, even better. We can be role models and those that are inspired can find out what is working for us but there is no preaching. No better or worse. Everyone has their own life to live, their own outlook, their own puzzle piece to contribute. No philosophy is better or worse. What works for you may not work for another. But all together we can make a huge difference. I have started donating to charities that I feel are 100% transparent and really making an impact in the world in areas that I want to see heal: forest regeneration, looking after children and vulnerable communities, providing clean water and supporting indigenous communities and tribes. Another person may focus on different areas, animal care, ocean clean up, mental health. If we all did this, what an impact we could have.
It’s also a time of seeing with total clarity those that are not being transparent or are not thinking of others. That are living in greed and seeking power, feeding agendas that does not have the public’s best interests at heart. This is the year of huge disclosure. What we see of the heartlessness is just the beginning of what has been happening behind closed doors. This year is when all that has been hiding beneath the surface will be exposed. It’s going to be deeply uncomfortable and conflicting. Especially for those who trusted world leaders and celebrities. It will be deeply traumatic. But the truth is we can’t go on like this. This society is deeply damaging and psychologically scarring people. The epidemics of loneliness, drugs and lack of connection with purpose and others is creating deep divides that are threatening the very planet we live on. It is a disease of consciousness that has been psychologically conditioned into us over our lifetime. ‘Consume more’, ‘use one another’, ‘take’, ‘me first’. It can’t continue and it feels so damaging that why would we want to. Many feel powerless but it all starts with us. It will take time, it will take future generations, it will take strong selfless leadership, it will take courage to really turn the tide and heal the damage. It will take people stepping up. Really stepping up.
This is what I feel for 2020. It starts Now. It all starts now. In every choice we make. In speaking up. In protecting the vulnerable. It is time for both real change and a coming home.
Until we meet again keep shining your light and creating ripples. You make a difference more than you know.