It is tradition every year for me to pick a word and use it as inspiration for the year ahead. To guide me to experiences that will help me in exploring that theme, embodying traits and aspects of myself more fully by focusing on an area that is calling me to unearth it.
I was surprised when I logged on to find that I hadn’t written anything on here for over a year. I remember writing the post on liberation and it felt like months ago, this year, not over a year ago! 2017 was a long year filled with a wealth of incredible experiences, as well as painful life lessons.
A year of opposites. Of outer liberation, travelling across the country, wild camping, visiting sacred sites, jumping in the white spring at Glastonbury naked (I told you I would have to get naked in public at least once, having chosen liberation hehe). It was a time of exploration of who I was, moving to a new part of the country, really challenging myself. Finding inner liberation, it made me a much stronger person, as I was tested to the core at times. And yet it felt like it was over in the blink of an eye and I am back to a new phase.
And now having experienced that I am fully ready to start a new journey with a theme that appears more gentle on the surface, but I believe will be powerful in the long term.
I am writing my theme for 2018 almost towards the end of march now. It has guided me the last few months and yet I wasn’t ready to really dive into it and step out at the start of January, as my life was at odds with the theme as I was deconstructing my life once again.
I felt like I was still tightly in my bud, my cocoon. Turning to goo. Hence my inability to put it into words. Beings made of goo don’t have the manual dexterity to hold a pen or type. I realised what I was doing in the months leading up to spring was clearing space, getting rid of weeds and fertilising the fresh space to make way for new beginnings, giving space for me to “blossom” when the time comes.
The theme came to me towards the end of last year, a feeling of stepping into my power, being witnessed. But also reminding the world that power can be gentle, beautiful, graceful, effortless. A flower emerges in its own time. It is fragile but its emergence inspires the world just by sharing its beauty.
I have known for a long time that in my twenties I would be on a spiritual journey, gathering information and experiences. But the specific year before turning thirty would be my window, the now moment that I was to put all that I had learned into action. There could be no more holding back, that was the time. And that time is now so I guess I had better get on it ;)
My name “Aiyana” means eternal bloom and forever flowering, the essence of my soul. As this journey is becoming more focused on me embodying with authenticity my soul and sharing it with the world, blossom felt like the perfect word to inspire this year. To help focus me in success, but remembering the divine feminine ways that I can create this for myself. Staying true to my roots, creating strong foundations and gently emerging, rather than trying to push ahead forcefully.
I wrote a poem when I was sat on the floor before moving out of my house, where I really wasn’t feeling ready to blossom. I wasn’t feeling pretty, full of life and like I wanted to share myself with the world. Healing from that place to where I saw myself in the future, successful, bright and full of life, felt very far away at the time. The poem gave me some comfort and reassurance that I needed in that moment.
“Blossom when you are ready,
There is nothing forcing you to step into your divine essence,
The world will not benefit from you stepping out in obligation,
This is about you coming home to yourself,
Stepping out because you are so full of joy that you can’t contain it any longer,
This is about your inner expansiveness,
It felt like a beautiful message. So think about it, if you tried to prize open a bud, dissect it from the outside forcefully to get it to emerge, to grace you with its beauty, you would destroy it, it would not be able to blossom, you would damage it. The same as an egg, if you crack its shell to get it to give birth to life, you end its potential for life. But when it is ready to emerge it does so of its own timing, in line with nature’s grand design.
We are beings of nature and as such we have much to learn from the cycles of nature. Every plant thrives of its own timing, corresponding to its own inner rhythm. It does not worry about if it is late. I remember a quote from Disney’s Mulan where the father says to the daughter to cheer her up as she is deemed a failure by others. They are sat under a cherry blossom tree and he looks up noticing “Look there is one bud closed up still, but I bet that it is the most beautiful of all”.
It also does not look at the other flowers blossoming around it and because its blueprint is different, its flowers a different colour, feel inadequate and close back into its bud. Again how many of us believe that we should be more like another and that our highest potential can only be reached by following another’s design. And yet perhaps what we have to share is very different but incredibly beautiful in its unique way.
And so as I flow into this year, creating the experiences for myself that will allow me to be more of who I wish to be in the world, I look forward to bringing more joy into my life by being my authentic self and choosing opportunities that light me up. Also feeling motivated in seeing my beautiful brothers and sisters do the same, stepping out and blossoming themselves, coming into their potential. Rising by believing in themselves and thriving together by looking upon each others beauty and feeling proud.
I am choosing to do this by writing a book that I am hoping will be published by Hay House. Just the feeling of following a pathway that has been a life long dream for myself feels exciting. Whatever the outcome I know that by writing what I really believe in and sharing it with others, embodying and sharing the morals and values that light me up and challenging myself to really believe in myself and stand in my power. It will be an incredible and valuable journey whatever happens. Choosing ourselves and taking the actions in line with that is very empowering. So……..
How will you choose to blossom this year?
When you get in touch with the true nature of your soul, when you give yourself time to be, what does it feel like?
When you are in that state, what do you wish to create with that authentic you-ness?
Does it inspire you to create art, garden, write, dance, create a project? Start a charity? What lights you up? What invigorates you? Excites you?
However little or big, give yourself the time this year to create something, to embody something or explore something or somewhere that is completely 100% you. Not because you feel you should or it would be the right thing to do. But because you are motivated by love, childlike wonder, fascination or for fun.
Take that jump.
All my love to you beautiful beings xyx