I’m in the middle of my holidays and finally starting to let go and relax a bit :) Have had lots of adventures and after some quiet time and solitude I feel inspired again to share.
So I was really hoping to go on holiday this year and looked at lots of different options and places. I was worrying about finances and practical stuff too much like how to get there, so wasn’t sure what was the best path and was probably fighting against the universe a bit rather than trusting it.
Anyways my brothers told me about this big music festival in Newquay that some of my favourite bands were playing at: Faithless, Rudimental, Rhodes, Nick Mulvey, Bastille to name a few. It sounded like the perfect get away to be free and adventurous so after lots of changes of plan that made me wonder if it was meant to be I decided to go against my intuition and say yes I’m going no matter what, ended up driving 250 miles by myself full of hope through the gorgeous countryside of Devon (gorgeous!) and up through Cornwall. It’s really nice driving by yourself, knowing that you can go anywhere and do anything. Quite liberating really :) Lots of craziness comes out when you’re stuck in the car for 5 hours with yourself lol.
The beautiful sandy beaches in Newquay were gorgeous and Friday night I saw Faithless, singing We come one, Bombs and Insomnia to my hearts content, so very happy I got to see them. The lead singer has such a kind gentle nature he really inspires me. The sunsets were amazing. I danced with my brothers to banging dance music which was pretty funny and sunbathed a little too much and now have necklace marks burned into my skin (oops!) ;) I met up with an old friend from school who’s going on lots of amazing adventures so had a good catch up and found some beautiful crystal necklaces that I’ve wanted to buy for ages so plenty of magic.
However as it went on I just couldn’t stand being around the rubbish everywhere, no way to get away from the noise and 16 year olds everywhere completely out of their heads on every drug known to man. We’re in this amazing natural place of beauty, but everywhere I look there’s beer cans trod into the grass, people throwing glass bottles up in the air on the campsite and tents being destroyed by people unable to walk.
They seemed like sweet people just trying to have fun (hey that was me once upon a time afterall) but it just wore me down so much that I was wondering if it was worth it to see the rest of the bands. After all it was meant to be my holiday to relax and let go. On Saturday afternoon it all came to a head when I couldn’t find my parking ticket so had to pay another £20 to get back in and then missed one of my favourite singers because of it, so had a little hissy fit, thought fuck it and drove 250 miles home lol. Talk about spontaneous and random :P I turned up home at 12pm sunstroke, exhausted and happy to be reunited with my man and bed again. He joked that I’d only been away for a few days and looked like I’d been lost in the jungle. hehe
Although I felt disappointed that it wasn’t as I had imagined it and felt like, should I have stuck it out and tried harder to let go, I feel like I made the right decision. Sometimes you’ve just got to jump overboard, abandon ship, say nope that didn’t work out and start again. There’s no point trying to force yourself to have fun if it just isn’t happening.
So I guess if you’re ever in the same situation and you think this really isn’t resonating with who I am: try to practice some gratitude and see if you can find parts of it that are for you, eat something (as everyone can get pretty wound up and make rash decisions if they’re just hungry lol), call home and have a good chat, but then if it’s still not happening have the courage to say this isn’t for me and walk away. Don’t worry about how much it cost, who you’re going to offend or that it makes you boring, just be authentic.
Time and being yourself is more important afterall. If something doesn’t work out use that as a spring board to think, ok that’s the opposite of what I want, so what DO I want and start the beautiful manifestation process all over again. There are a million events and things out there in the world. If one doesn’t work out there’s a million more awesome experiences waiting to take its place.
Keep shining xyx