Wow so I’ve finally got the chance to sit down, nothing to worry about, nothing to do. I can actually relax and enjoy sharing the last couple of weeks with you all which i’ve been craving to do and trying to formulate the words and experience within myself. It has been really magical and I’ve experienced soooooo much! I had my last session with the group yesterday which was pretty emotional and lovely.
On week 5’s session coming back from another beautiful spiritual festival I was feeling amazing (although sunburned), really blessed with all I had manifested and stepping into becoming more the person I like to be. To start the session we worked with a partner and shared our week with each other while the other listened in silence. This can be a bit challenging actually, as you realise how much you want to put your stamp on their experiences, to define it, to provide encoragement, so its good to just let that person own their experience :) We then came together and shared what we picked up from our partner in terms of the qualities they were conveying through how they spoke i.e. peaceful, reflective, passionate. I was really touched with how my partner described me as “being a pleasure to witness me really stepping into myself and just being full of joy and happiness”, I definitely got a bit emotional with that hehe but felt that yes I absolutely was stepping more into who I am and its amazing that it shows :) It’s great having the courage to like who you are, not in a conceited way at all, just enjoying exploring and (I was going to say playing with yourself but so the wrong phrase haha)…erm we’ll just stick with exploring then!
We then went deeper into letting go of what is holding us back by gathering in a circle and choosing a person in our life who we felt has taken our power from us in some way by judging us. We used a pillow to represent that judgement as a tangible real thing and talking to someone in the group as if they are that person, lovingly giving them back that quality that we know longer need. Although emotional as a group I felt that this was really powerful and it was beautiful to see everyones courage and vulnerability. I chose my singing teacher and said that although I felt that she was trying to give me strength and persistence that I felt judged and not good enough, which has made me stop singing and have been playing small and hiding ever since, so I wanted to give back that judgement and allow myself to be safe again to explore my creative side and shine my light. It’s amazing how small comments can affect you so deeply for so many years. I feel I could do this with a number of situations, even if we think we are over past relationships, bosses, teachers, upbringings its surprising how issues will surface out of nowhere to be healed and released. By forgiving others we are freeing ourselves, it’s a win win situation!
After some deep and courageous sharing we lightened the mood by moving together and feeling what it would be like to be free, to go with the flow, to have no resistance. We moved our hands together in unison and then just our fingers with our eyes shut. I really loved this, as movement takes on a beautiful energy of its own, as if it’s no longer you moving anymore, but just feeling moved by some gentle force, to me it feels like being sea weed gently swaying in the water. We also guided our partner round with eyes closed and trusted each other to trust that the universe is holding you safely and moving you gently towards what you want. It was nice letting go of control and your eye sight, to trust your inner senses more and it is amazing how much you can feel around you with your eyes closed, start to sense the energy of the room and other beings around you.
Bringing the session into a gentle chakra meditation we completely relaxed and felt how blissful it was just being in our bodies. I found it interesting that since being more sociable and open my solar plexus chakra was more vibrant and my crown chakra felt more connected to the universe and bliss. It was lovely just to really let go and be supported and feel perfect as I am :)
In a state of bliss we came together and picked a candle to represent our light and just sat together listening to really beautiful music as we stared into the light that represents our beauty :)
I realised from this session and the festival I went to that its lovely to dress up all beautiful and feminine, I love exploring different styles, but underneath it all I can have wild unkempt hair, sunburn, no makeup and slouchy jeans on and still be that vibrant alive happy person, I don’t need a costume to play my character, I’m still me underneath it all and that’s enough.
So when you’re not feeling at your very best, remember you are perfect just the way you are and you don’t need to do anything to be loved by the divine, you are love, it is your very being so just let go and…have a nap if that’s what you need ;)