Hey guys ok so week 3 of my lovely magical course :) I felt that the week went quite slowly (in a good way) and seemed to fit lots of self nurturing and happiness into it. I was really looking forward to seeing the group again and catching up.
At the start of the session I felt pretty tired, but at the same time blissful and peaceful. I had about 15 minutes before it started to have a little walk near the centre in the park, through the willow trees that remind me of my Nanny’s garden, walked over a little bridge over a stream and stretched out on the grass in the sun looking at the vibrant flowers around me.
In the group we discussed how we were feeling and breakthroughs and experiences of nurturing ourselves. Everyone looked so much more relaxed talking about nice baths they’d had, long relaxing walks, to standing up for themselves and being more authentic. I discussed how I had invited some conflict into my life by being more authentic and courageous with who I am by discussing my political beliefs on Facebook and people surprisingly getting quite heated. I however felt like in this and some car tail gaiters that usually would really bug me I was reacting differently to usual. I wasn’t taking it personally and felt quite strong and powerful in myself that I was happy to be authentically stepping into what I believed morally and not being phased if other people didn’t like it, as I was being me, respectful, idealistic and positive.
I have noticed with the law of attraction that you sometimes get some testing of surprise situations to see how you react and if there are changes going on behind the scenes of your belief systems, so proud to say I feel like I passed so far :P In the group we talked about manifestation and to prove to us that we were already skilled conscious creators we all talked about areas we had created and were proud of. Jobs, degrees, family, abundance, relationships, lots of lovely beautiful things.
I talked about my relationship and how happy I was to be in such an amazing relationship, where we had opposite qualities that bring out the best in each other, being able to be vulnerable, be myself, having similar interests ie a sense of adventure and being able to be silly together. A lady afterwards said she thinks they were all a bit jealous of my perfect relationship and I said that I used the law of attraction to bring him into my life as I was thinking about him and decided that if it was meant to be I would just run into him so was in a positive state of expectation when I turned around in a club and there he was hehe. I also said that I spent years desperate for love but had such low self esteem that I couldn’t accept it, but once I worked on myself my life naturally changed course. So yeh enough of the sappy hehe.
So back to the group we also talked with a partner and one person just talked about all the things that made them proud of themselves while the other openly listened. I felt confident in being able to discuss how I’d turned my life around from being at a really low place in my life to using these experiences to make my life better, be more confident and use my experiences to help people in my career. It was lovely hearing her talk authentically and see the vulnerability and strength in us all :) After discussing our strengths we then charted our satisfaction with different areas of our life on a Wheel of Life chart where we would get a round circle with 10 for all areas, but more likely a bit spikey and misshapen as some areas are fulfilling whereas other areas are in need of a boost. After identifying which areas we would like a boost in we then let go of the thinking tasks and went into some movement.
We embodied the lessons of the group with some more practical exercises, starting with a resistance exercise to music where we have to push against our partners hands to feel physically what its like to get into that pushing a boulder uphill feeling of trying to make something happen with frustration rather than letting go and getting to the same place with the flow. It was really interesting actually feeling physically what that emotional state is like so really useful! After this we did finally let go fully and went on an inner journey to explore through visualisation our perfect day. I found this really powerful and beautiful. I imagined being on a stunning open planned beach house in paradise on a stunning beach. We watched the sun rise, ate vibrant tropical fruit, walked in nature and then in the evening the beach came to life with an amazing community of artistic confident beautiful people and we all danced, showcased our talents and talked all night until the sun rose. I woke up from the meditation feeling so fulfilled and vibrant. To finish the group we embodied that feeling of flow with scarves dancing around to Rhianna “Shine bright like a diamond”. I chose a beautiful soft white scarf with black illustrations of bees and butterflies on it. I loved just moving freely exploring softness. Another session left feeling amazing and blissful. I was amazed that yet again on Radio 1 they were discussing confidence techniques and positive thinking!
So the homework this week was to keep an appreciation diary of things we are grateful for. I found in the past that this would end up becomes a chore without really feeling as much but this time I did it listening to music and really got quite emotional and really felt filled up with gratitude. Have become really obsessed with gorgeous slow melodic music this week.
Can’t say its all been beautiful and amazing every minute but I am trying! I found out that my summer placement will be a long drive, difficult to park and not able to physically do anything on the placement so was pretty disappointed and this started really pulling me out of the vortex into a state where I got upset about all kinds of things. I decided instead of sleeping I needed something to pull me back so started reading “Ask and it is given” and that pulled me back from being about to jump into the precipice of “everything is shit” lol to stopping and thinking hmmm do I really want to go here again, and with humour deciding nope not really I would rather feel good :P So dodged the emotional bullet hehe
I’ve also been focusing on essay writing and have put some wishes out there of what I want of the process, to be focused, motivated and to produce my essays more quickly than expected, to a high standard that will get a good mark and enjoy the writing and learning process and yes actually I have felt that this has all gone to plan! Just the last finishing touches tomorrow and then yay done! I can’t remember if I mentioned that after loving the last festival I was like yeh would like some more of that and then lo and behold there’s another spiritual festival at the same place this weekend and I’m volunteering as a first aider for my ticket so get to enjoy it while offering my skills so yeh happy and looking forward to it! I’m sure I’ll have loadsssss more to write about :)
Have a lovely week and I’m going to go do my gratitude journal now and probably have another sobbing session hehe, much love xyx