Beltane fire festival frollickings!

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Helloooooo,

Wow soooooooo much has happened to me in the last few weeks. Feeling really inspired, renewed, happy and free. Absolutely loved the festival I went to on the weekend! I did so many workshops etc, so going to try to remember all the different brilliant experiences I had and share them :)

I started a law of attraction group last week and that has started to motivate me to bring more of what I want into my life. I Will talk separately about this group, as it has been really powerful all on its own, but it did get me ready to bring in more of what I wanted at the festival just in the first week: connection with people, community, spiritual experiences, letting go, having fun, peace and stepping into my power. Definitely felt that I embodied those qualities in various ways and broke down some barriers to see things in a new way.

I went to the festival by myself feeling that it was a good exercise in resilience and being open and trusting :) Still a bit nerve-wracking though hehe but sometimes you’ve got to have the courage to put yourself out there and not be a scaredy cat :P

Friday

I arrived and set up my tent surprisingly easily (my boyfriend usually does all this technical kind of stuff while I look confused). I then went for a walk in the forest and was absolutely blown away by the incredibly beauty of the bluebell forest, with a blanket of blue all around me. I really felt like I has stepped into heaven on earth and felt so touched by the beauty around me that I started to get a bit teary. I thought, great! the festivals only just started and I’m already crying lol but I think crying is a sure sign that you’re spiritually connected and letting go.

I went to a shamanic workshop in the afternoon which was really nice and relaxed with Leo Rutherford. I liked that he hadn’t really planned it, it was just a meeting of people going with the flow. We chatted about “trickster” experiences the world was playing on us, where something completely unexpected happens. It was really nice hearing peoples experiences. His blew ours all out of the water, as his house was burned down a few weeks ago, but still seemed positive and hopeful for the future. (buy a book of his to help him out if you feel drawn to!) I felt that actually after last year with a lot of unexpected happenings and shifting the last few months, everything was finally starting to slot in place and flow more effortlessly :) We finished by singing some native american songs, which was really lovely and fun. My name is native american and means eternal bloom, so I identify with the native american tradition, as if I’m an english honorary tribe member by my name hehe. Seems a bit rude giving myself permission to be an honourary tribe member but hey ho haven’t met anyone to tell me otherwise ;)

That evening I was freezing cold and couldn’t sleep so decided to get up at 10pm and have a little walk around the site and past the music tent. I saw the entrance to the woods was all lit up by fairy lights, so took a little walk down there and found a bonfire and chilled out with a few people down there and warmed up. I started to feel a bit more cosy, happy and relaxed and went to bed a bit warmer with my hat on, earmuffs and a million blankets hehe.

Saturday

In the morning I did yoga which was quite gentle and flowing. There was a little boy behind me with his mum, so was quite funny trying to do downwards dog on bumpy ground with him staring at me inquisitively lol. Felt much better for having a good stretch and warming my body up.

I then went to an embodying the sacred feminine workshop in a nice cosy yurt. We did some chatting, yoga, ceremony to the 4 corners and some massage in a cosy comfy little circle together. It was really nice and nurturing being with a group of women. I left feeling more grounded and centred. I’m always a little wary of women’s groups, as they’re either sacred feminine energy focused, or lets sit around and talk about and drawn vaginas lol. Felt like this workshop got the balance right and made us feel comfortable while honouring our bodies in a physical and energetic way.

I took part in an interesting workshop on authentic movement which I thought would just be another trance dance type event, but it was very different to what I expected. We had to work with a partner and for 10 minutes with no music one person would move how they wanted and be present of the process and the feelings that came up with eyes closed, while the other person observed and allowed the other person to be seen fully as they are. We then came together and talked about our experience and how the movement felt for us, drew our experiences and words that came up and what it meant to us. The observer then commented on how it was for them to watch and what they felt you were expressing with your body. I thought it would be uncomfortable and weird, but I actually really enjoyed the process and was really amazed at how similar our observations were of ourselves vs the person seeing us. I felt that our body conveys a language all of its own if we are open to sharing it, no words needed just openness and authenticity :)

After a morning of chilled out practice I was ready to get my body moving and just go crazy and have a little shake, so wandered over to the dance tent for dance mandala freeform dance which I really enjoyed. I like just going inwards, closing your eyes and dancing however you want. I really enjoyed the world music and flowing through fast earthy bouncy tunes, to flowing peaceful sounds and eventually peaceful stillness. I remembered why I loved trance dance and just being free to move however you want, no rules or expectations!

I then cooled down and prepared to unwind with a gong bath which was nice and chilled. My favourite part was at the end when a little girl walked into the silent peacefulness and shouted “Daddy can I have £3 please”, cracked me up, I love how kids are so open and funny without meaning to be! The hippy kids there are so cute and honest!

I had a bit of a headache in the eve so took myself on a long walk in the woods to clear my mind and move my body. Got a bit adventurous and crossed the stream and headed up hill into some neighbouring land, until it started to get dark then headed back for a hot chocolate, much-needed sugar!

After dinner I headed over to the music tent and heard Lloyd Williams sing which was really lovely and chilled out, and then headed back to my old friend the fire in the woods and met some of the same people again and hung out there for hours refusing to leave even in the rain. There’s something really comforting about being round a fire, really hypnotic and soothing. Eventually tore myself away and had a nice relaxing sleep all wrapped up :)

Sunday

My third day of yoga in the morning I was really starting to feel the benefit of moving my body gently to wake up. I really liked the flowing style of moving your joints round gently before going into the traditional poses, it really changed my experience of it and I enjoyed how refreshing and freely I was breathing, as usually it feels forces and closed off. I’m sure the oxygen rich air of the forest really helped, as well as releasing the stress that makes you tense your body without realising it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! That was a relaxing breath out, not a scream! ;)

I was looking forward to a workshop on intuition so headed over boldly in the rain to find that no one was sure where it was and the tent we were supposed to be in had started falling down hehe and couldn’t find the lady running it. Still I really wanted to do it as I really felt drawn to it. I saw her walking over across the field, so went to greet her and let her know what was happening. It looked like there would only be 2 of us in the tent that was being repaired as we sat in it and then eventually more and more people headed over and filtered in. It was an interesting start and she commented that we knew we wanted to make an event happen, so crossed whatever issues were in the way to get to that point. It was a really powerful and emotional workshop where we forgave our inner child, made it feel safe and listened to and then worked with partners and gave them intuitive loving messages that came to us. It was really powerful and me and my partner were laughing, crying and hugging a lot hehe. It’s amazing how quickly you can break down the barriers between people with eye contact. Left feeling lighter and happier for sharing my vulnerability. At one point I was meditating when a wooden pole from the ceiling fell down just in front of me. We all laughed nervously. I Opened my eyes, jokingly commented ” I could have died” and then immediately went back into meditation again unfazed, so I must have been in the zone haha!

After this I was ready to chill and went to a sound bath with singing bowls, gongs and all kinds of instruments. It was very different to the gong bath, as we started with a toning exercise chanting through all the chakras before relaxing and closing our eyes. As she went through the different instruments I was captivated with the many images and colours coming to me. It felt like I was going on a journey in my mind, releasing stagnant energies I no longer needed and embracing more beauty. I felt amazing afterwards and had to sit down again when I tried to leave, as I felt a little too high still hehe. It’s amazing how powerful sound and the mind can be!

I finished off my workshops for the day with a sacred pleasures fire ritual. I really didn’t know what to expect, thought we might be throwing affirmations into a fire, dancing round it etc but yeh wasn’t quite prepared for this one lol. I wasn’t sure whether to share this experience and don’t want to disrespect the people and experience by making fun of it, so I hope I’m able to share it in a respectful way as it was really lovely, but also you all know I like to make a bit of humour out of any situation…especially when nudity is involved ;)

As the workshop facilitator informed us that some of us would be volunteering to get naked and then have paraffin symbols drawn on our body and set on fire in a controlled safe way I wondered if I could fit through the gap in the tent and make my escape lol. However I was kind of curious to be part of something so completely different and intimate that the crazy part of me decided to stay. I’ve got to say I almost volunteered, was feeling a bit ballsy at the time, but when I saw what it entailed I thought hm no not quite ready for that yet, but amazing respect for the people who did and I was captivated by how openly people of all genders, ages, shapes and sizes shared their body with us and how beautiful they all were in their own unique ways.We split into groups and all drew symbols that represented what we wanted to embody more of. I chose power and a star reaching outwards in all directions to bring more of my presence into the world fearlessly.

It was a really interesting experience watching the ceremony take place and I felt that the workshop facilitators handled it all in a safe, light-hearted and compassionate, open-hearted way, so it was pretty fascinating I’ll admit! As the lady in our group finished her ceremony I chatted with her and said that she can tick “Get set on fire naked” off her bucket list now hehe. I can definitely understand the appeal a bit more now of BDSM, as I think I was a bit judgemental and held a lot of preconceived ideas that people were self harming or abusing themselves, whereas the female facilitator, a quiet normal looking lady, looked so much brighter, more empowered and more open and fun-loving after it all so it did stop and make me think after seeing the beautiful benefits people got from letting go and trusting so deeply. So yeh a strange experience lol but glad I went! If you want to find out more about the ceremonies he runs individually and small group sessions in London www.londonfaerie.co.uk

After this I chatted with some friends on the green around the campfire and then prepared for the village ceremony which I enjoyed and was much larger than I thought it would be. We split into men and women and learned different parts of a song and then came back in a long line facing each other with the fire between us. It was nice singing and hearing the men and women’s voices weave together. They also had sections where people could grieve, share that they’re ready for love and honour the elements. A heron flew over head as the sun set and there definitely was a sacred feeling on the air, apart from up my side of the line where we kept cracking jokes, as the men had a clear view of a naked lady bouncing up and down on a trampoline in the background hehe. I felt how amazing it would be to be part of a close-knit tribe of people, who honoured each other and the land, supported each other and lived in tune with nature and how we all live our lives together in various phases. It was lovely being part of that community I’ve been craving so much to be a part of!

I walked past a little tipi cafe curious to hear singing, so wandered in where they were singing Kirtan round a bonfire with an Amma picture (the hugging saint) and shrine in the corner. I really enjoyed the feeling of togetherness and flow of the chanting from slow to fast then peaceful silence between each song. It was nice seeing how free everyone looked and happy, even spontaneously getting up and dancing. Really lovely sweet spontaneous experience.

In the evening I heard an amazing beautiful singer songwriter play called Nessi Gomes. I was absolutely captivated by her voice, it was just perfect and melodic in every way, so gorgeous. I closed my eyes to really take in the beauty of her songs and could have stayed there all night! Just wow!!!!

I then headed back to my old friend the woodland fire for round 3 of warm toastiness :) I was surprised there were more people than the other nights and as I sat down I saw some of the familiar faces of the previous nights, I nicknamed “fire elders” and lots of new people who were really friendly and welcoming. After a while of chatting we decided to go on a spontaneous adventure in the dark to a beautiful giant ancient tree in the woodlands. In true hippy fashion we decided to hug it to really get into the hippy stereotype hehe and it took 6 people outstretched to get our hands round it! It was fun not really knowing anyone and just doing something completely random like that. We headed back to the bonfire and chatted all night until 3.30 about anything and everything and no one wanted to leave even though we knew we’d be tired the next day. It was like we were stuck in a vortex where time didn’t matter. At half 3 we decided to head to the bonfire in the middle of the camp and pick up guitars. Just as we left we turned around and saw a shadowy figure in the woods next to the bonfire we’d just left. We all got a bit freaked out and tentatively edged closer as we called out hello…well I did, the other guys were ready to leg it by now. After 5 hellos and the shadowy figure not moving with a large stick in its hand, we were all ready to bolt when we heard a little “hello??” and everyone started laughing at the state we’d got ourselves into! We ran up to him explaining that we thought he was a ghost and we were freaking out to which he replied confusingly….” I just went to get some wood” lol bless him so yeh that woke us up!

At the other campfire built into the shape of a heart I met a lady I knew and chatted to her for a while and listened to some lovely chilled out guitar playing while being amazed by the most amazing hunters full moon. I’ve never seen it so bright or vibrant, really an amazing end to an amazing festival! I finally went to bed a 4.30 for 3 hours of sleep, feeling so grateful to have met such amazing fun people and hopeful for the future.

In the morning I had one last walk in the bluebell woods to integrate everything I’d learned and reflect on my experiences. I meditated laying on a fallen tree and felt completely connected to nature, fully releasing everything and just being. I felt completely at peace and sensed the surge of energy from the earth pulsing all around me. I walked to the ancient tree and leaned against it, surprised by how soft its energy felt against my body. I felt compassion for the forest and it nurturing me into being who I want to be.The drive home and packing away my tent was surprisingly easy and effortless after that, as I really felt in the flow and happy.

So yeh wow even I’m shocked looking back over that, I’ve done twice as much as I thought I did, so many beautiful uplifting experiences I will treasure with all my heart. Have booked my ticket for the summer festival already as felt so inspired by the positive change in just 3 days that it so so worth the effort!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hope you’ve enjoyed hearing about my adventure, hopefully there will be many more! much love xyx

ps if only I could write a 3000 essay this easy and effortlessly teehee

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