Hello beautiful people :)
The last month has been so amazing and full of new experiences and deep realisations that I could probably write a number of posts but I will at least start with this one :P
I have previously written about my new abundance kick and how using gratitude and the techniques of “The Magic” and “Ask and it is Given” have helped me to feel more present and happy with my life. I love that feeling of being in the flow of the magic of life, where just a simple walk down the road or driving to work feels like an adventure, an opportunity to see things more brightly. I especially love the “Rampage of appreciation” technique where as you are driving, walking somewhere or standing in a queue you notice around you things you like. It could be “oh I like that colour”, “that person’s pretty”, “I like her bag”, “that dog is cute” and once you get started it makes you more present to everything around you and attracts more of the beautiful things to you. How many times have you walked from A to B with your head towards the pavement and when you get to your destination you think to yourself who did I walk by, what posters were in windows, what else did I miss because I was in autopilot mode? It reminds me of the psychology study about selective attention where there’s a man in a gorilla suit walking slowly across a basketball game, but because the participants are focusing on a specific task they don’t even see him! Gratitude is a great way to get yourself back into the moment and it gives you a good energy lift as well and makes you smileeeee.
Driving to pick up my man a few days ago on the motorway and I was doing this practise, appreciating the beautiful sun, the view of the downs, trees in the distance and as I did this I started having this really strong feeling that I was connected to all the other car drivers in a web of consciousness. It was strange as I’ve read about these things many times and intellectually grasped them, but lately i’ve been seeing images and having feelings of these things as an actual part of my reality. Pretty cool :P I keep seeing these gorgeous images of bright lights, webs and fields of energy and interconnectedness that are only in my mind for a split second. It’s not in my mind like a daydream, its further away, like it’s really there and my mind’s just about able to perceive it. I thought to myself earlier that it feels like there are other dimensions layered on top of each other and for the tiniest glimpse I get to see things in one reality before being bounced back to the next. Its like being in a pinball machine hehe. I would love to be able to recreate some of the images in art,
but I wouldn’t know where to start to represent that level of beauty, colour and brightness. Hopefully my words will paint a picture?
I’ve been trying to be really healthy by taking good quality vitamins, exercising, meditating, yoga, dance, drinking juices etc and I can really feel the difference. I have been going out and trying out new things as well which has been lots of fun.
I first experienced sahaja yoga a few weeks ago and was literally blown away by it! I walked home afterwards floating on air! I felt so pure, alive and free. I’ve had a few euphoric moments like this where I felt truely connected and this was definitely one of them! During the meditation I felt so deeply calm and at peace. The more experienced meditators worked on our chakras with movements and as they did this I could feel my crown chakra swirling around, like the water in the bath as it goes down the plug hole. I always get hypnotised watching it do that hehe.
At this point I went its a completely peaceful and aware state of bliss, everyone had finished meditating but me
and were talking very loudly to each other and although I was aware of this, I was in a completely calm bubble where I felt I could have stayed for hours. On the walk home I looked up at the stars and felt so alive. The kundalini energy awakened felt so feminine, pure and subtle, very different to reiki which can be a more masculine heated energy. If you want to find out more about sahaja yoga there are lots of resources online. It is a meditation involving mantras while holding your hand over areas of your body, so once you’ve got used to it its easy to remember what to do! (I did it driving the other day hehe, although I wouldn’t recommend it!)
I’ve also reclaimed my love of dance and can’t believe I stayed away for so long. It started with me going to a vital development evening (previously called biodanza). I had experienced biodanza a few years ago, a few days after I had gone through a breakup, so it was quite an overwhelming and emotional experience. I felt I got a lot out of it and felt really good after but felt a bit scared of going back lol. So the session I went to last week I thought was just dancing, rather than biodanza (which is more touchly feely) so when I turned up I felt a bit nervous. There were at least 30 people there so it was pretty cool dancing with so many people in one space. The session involved dancing with different people, holding hands, hugging, eye contact and group contact sessions. Without being allowed to speak during it you learn to communicate more with your body language and eyes. I got through it and although I still felt a bit awkward and closed off from all the touchly feely stuff I enjoyed it.
After the session I talked to some of the students who were learning the biodanza system and their openness and affection towards each other inspired me to go along to their session last friday. I felt that they had such an amazing energy, intensity and love about them that I wanted to be more like that :)
I almost didn’t go lol as part of me was like “no I don’t want to do this, I don’t want to be challenged, I want to hide under the covers hehe” and I realised at that moment that what was scary to me was other people putting their attention on me, it was a self-consciousness that was holding me back, worrying what people think of me. I knew it would be beneficial for me to throw away this limiting view that has been holding me back for so long.
I promised myself to be open and let go of those barriers that were stopping me from being as vibrant and wild as I want to be, so I felt I made a breakthrough during that session. I danced more freely, held eye contact, smiled and my heart opened up more so I could feel the love of the room, the love for myself and be more connected to the present moment. At times that realisation was quite overwhelming and I tried not to cry.
The theme for the evening was dancing with your inner child, so it was fun just being a bit silly at times, playing around and being innocent. Dropping my worries and ego to the floor.
After this experience I felt I was on a roll, so I went to 5 rhythms dance as well. I have heard of it for a long time and have been meaning to go, so once I was hooked on dance again I thought it would be a good opportunity. It was held in the beautiful old church that I used to trance dance in, so it felt like coming home being back there. It’s so freeing having the music blasting, a huge space and just being able to dance your dance. No rules, no expectations, no fears. Just movement that takes over you. You no longer think, you just flow with your bodies energy and what it wants to do. My movements have always been very flowing and calm so I actually liked the chaos section that was very high energy. I let go of the expectation that I should be controlled and dance should be pretty and just let my body go wild and jump around hehe. Was fun ;)
In 5 rhythms there are times when you are asked to dance with another person or a group of people. It is less physical contact than biodanza, but it was quite fun to meld your energy and dance style with another persons.
One person might be really wild and jumping about and that makes you more energetic, whereas the next person might be really calm and slow, so you slow your style to suit theirs. Lol there was a funny one with three of us, where one of the guys started dancing with his finger and it was so silly that I started laughing and doing it back to him and then the other guy started doing it. We then linked fingers and started twirling each other round in the circle and going in and out the circle creating a web and getting in a tangle hehe. I like spontaneous moments like this where there’s no planning or thought involved, you’re just playing and exploring. How often do we get the chance to do that as adults?
The accumulation of all these different practises woven together has made me feel so clear, pure, positive and vibrant. I feel like I’m finally awakening to how my life should be, how we should feel every day and I really hope I can share a bit of that with everyone so that you can all feel amazing too :)
Lots of love xyx